Windows I and II (2024)

Beatrice Batungbacal

Acrylic on canvas

86.5x86.5cms

Window I (2024) and Window II (2024)

October 2024

Do you believe in parallel lives?

Parallel lives, in the sense that there is another “you” living an alternate version of your life. Maybe if a different decision or outcome or choice had been made, then your reality now would look completely different?

Window I (2024)

Manila, Philippines

Bea Batungbacal

Acrylic on canvas

86.5x86.5cms

Window II (2024)

Madrid, Spain

Bea Batungbacal

Acrylic on canvas

86.5x86.5cms

In the summer of 2024, I had a chance to find out.

At this point, I had been living back in Manila for over half a year and was well-adjusted into my new old life. The window that you see to your left is of my bedroom window- a window I had been looking out from since I was a little girl. Like little Wendy before Peter Pan, desperately waiting for some big adventure to take her to Neverland.

Meanwhile, the window to your right is of the view that I had that summer, a glimpse into my reality in Madrid. It was of my friend’s apartment, where I was staying for that month.

Visiting Madrid again felt like reuniting with an old friend. I thought I’d return not being able to recognize anything, no longer being able to fit into the life I built there- but to my pleasant surprise, it still felt like home. I felt so reassured- It was real, I was real, it was all real! Like a grown-up Wendy reading a book about her adventures in Neverland. With photos and receipts to prove it.

I enjoyed the rest of that summer happily pretending to be living back in my old life. Normal, everyday things- going to workout classes, cooking for myself, taking long walks around the city. I enjoyed every second of it- the way it was, as I currently was.

I used to wonder a lot about how my life would’ve turned out had I found a way to stay in Spain in 2023. The same way I used to wonder how my life would’ve turned out if I had continued to date this guy in college, or if I had pursued a different career or sport or opted to go to this party instead of stay in. What would’ve happened, if this would’ve happened?

Though as much as I loved my time there and wish it could have extended at a certain point, I think I finally understood that there is no would’ve or could’ve or should’ve. There is only now.